Frequently Bought Together

When browsing for items on Amazon.com, one is often suggested additional items relevant to their interests based on previous purchases by other Amazon.com users. For example, people who buy, say, the Chronicles of Riddick on Blu-Ray often buy Pitch Black on Blu-Ray as well. Or, say you were browsing books on cupcakes; you might be given the idea to also purchase a book or two on cookies.

This morning, while musing over the thought of a new electric kettle, I cam upon this suggestion:

'nough said I think.

We will never hear when we are older...

Today, as I sat on the train going in to Boston for an interview, I heard the familiar...ra ra ra ooh lalala!! lyrics of Lady GAGA, at a pretty high decibel. Now, trains are loud and its difficult to hold a conversation, so I get the point of putting on tunes. BUT!! Really?? That loud! I could hear every word, every beat perfectly.

I am guilty of this but I've noticed lately that people are going overboard with headphones. I mean do you want to be like this guy:


I mean, in effect, we already are like him. We are putting speakers to our ears and then letting the world hear what we are listening too. I already struggle to hear low sounds, I can only imagine when I am like 30.

So, what do I think we should do? I have no real good thoughtful solution. I like loud music. I like going to shows and hearing the base and drums vibrant in my chest. I love yelling for an hour after because you can't hear yourself. It makes you feel like you did something, you went somewhere.

I do think though that when you are jamming out on your IPhone or your IPod, you really need to think of the people around you and this really is just to save face. Do you really want people to know that you are a big strong burly duder who LOVES the GAGA? Turn it down...just turn it down....

Toothpaste Culture

Every once in a while I'm inspired by a strange thread of thoughts. Today, on merry Christmas Eve, I've been sat here in my living room watching Graham Norton on BBC America. You're wondering how this has anything to do with toothpaste. I told you it was strange.

There's a commercial for toothpaste. Don't ask what brand, you don't really care. What does matter is that, in the commercial, the woman supposedly putting the paste on the brush has a magical power. (I say supposedly because it's quite obvious that the toothpaste is COMPUTER GRAPHICALLY applied to the toothbrush.) She has the magical power of perfectly applying toothpaste to a brush so that it looks, well, perfect. You know, like this:

but without all the the flying tat in the background... so more like this:



but not made out of cement; unless you need cement to hold your dentures on.

The point of both these pictures is to demonstrate the iconic toothpaste curl. Notice the little under tuck towards the handle of the brush, and the sexy little tuft at the head.

Now, let me ask you... Has your toothpaste EVER come out this perfect on your brush? If you have the magical power that the lady in the Crest Pro-Health (it was just on again...) commercial, then I'm sorry you've been given such a useless magical power and perhaps encourage you to go into cake decorating or something more interesting than toothpaste model.




Although, being a Toothpaste Model does not mean you have to be able to apply perfect toothpaste. Like I mentioned previously, the paste in the tv commercial was computer graphically applied.

Frankly, toothpaste doesn't even need a sexy woman to sell it. Toothpaste can be sexy all by itself:


All jokes though, even advertisers somehow manage to make toothpaste sexy:



It's dark, mysterious, sensual, seductive. It's TOOTHPASTE.

Mouthwash, on the other hand, is aided tremendously by this lovely woman:



Mouthwash just doesn't have as much going for it as Toothpaste.

Toothpaste, ladies, has a following.



And to end on a culturally relevant note, toothpaste is also Green.



I bet you never thought so much about toothpaste. And I bet you'll think about sex next time you brush your teeth.

Cheers!

no thank you, rocket man

I was browsing through LIFE's 21 Greatest Space photos, when I came across this photo of Bruce McCandless floating out in the middle of space thanks to a jet pack. This photo terrifies me more than creationists and creamed corn. What if your jet pack went on the fritz? Could the other astronauts watusi the spacecraft over to you before you floated away?

Also, have you SEEN "Powers of Ten"? 

Things I would Ban

1. The superfluous use of "sort of" and "kind of" - especially when combined with an academic tone of voice, and extra especially when pushing trendy square glasses up your nose.

2. the two party system.
see the silly image with the donkeys and elephants mounting each other...

3. "I could care less."

The "caring continuum" is handy:

4. Brownies, cookies, or any other baked goods containing NUTS.

p.s.... what is that font at the bottom of the nut brownie picture?

5. Dan Brown. Is it unfair to pick on pop fiction?

6. wedge heels. because... I don't like them. While I am at it - overly pointy shoes of any kind. I am the dictator of this post!

7. Oh! let's not forget FLOOZIES! maybe Victorian Floozies are alright...

Anything else, while I'm dictator?

Thinking inside the box..

I have to say I have not don't much bank thinking as of late. I have been thinking more close to home. From time to time, my mind has drifted into more expounding thoughts and ideas.

Anyway, I have witnessed a lot of what I shall call: unworldly thinking. What I mean here is, thinking that does not belong in the bank. I think it belongs nowhere but, alas, I have been witness to it. I have been hearing thoughts that boggle my little brain.

I am used to Bank thinking to be honest. I am used to worldly, interesting thought. I am saddened by this group think mentality. It is affecting my life. I need some stimulation.

So, I invite/solicit/whorishly ask for things to think about other than the litany of stuff that usually goes through my head. You know:

puppies

kittens

vesty

passive voice

html code

pretty clothes

poetry

jane austen

dino porn

We need some action and I mean down and dirty, mudslinging epiphanies.

Let's do this because I don't know if I can go another week hearing close minded BS. Ladies...mount up. Show them what we are working with.

walk of fame

Get out your pencils, it's a think tank bank quiz. Which of these pairings has a star on the Hollywood walk of fame? 

Category 1: Movie beasts

 or 

Category 2: James Bond

 or  

Category 3:  DIY television hosts

 or 

Category 4: Nickelodeon TV cartoons

 or 

Category 5: TV judges

 or 

(answers in the comment section)

I wish I was in this meeting

So, KFC has decided to replace bread with chicken. I would link you to proof of that, but they have provided no evidence on the KFC website.

In case you haven't seen it, the sandwich is called "Double Down" and consists of bacon, cheese, and special sauce held together by two pieces of fried chicken ("bread"). Crazy! After the brief "healthy KFC" advertising (buckets of grilled chicken are healthy), they flipped it on us and went straight to heart attack.

I have been seeing this commercial on TV for at least the last couple of weeks, and I am blown away every time. I also love the "unthink" slogan they have going. They also use it in the Double Down commercials, which makes a lot of sense. Kudos to KFC. Unfortunately I could not find the actual commercial, so this will have to do:

And then there is this guy:

Note: He included his phone number in the video info, in case you need to reach him.

an announcement

After conferring tonight, Beth and I would like to pass onto you our new motto:

"No floozies!"

That's all.

the secret to time travel

everyone knows that it takes longer for a kettle to boil if you watch it. and everyone who has ever studied grammar knows that, no matter how witty Lynne Truss is, when reading about punctuation marks and compound complex sentences and past participles, time dramatically slows.



so, what if you were to boil a kettle full of grammar? perhaps time would stop!

there are a few hurdles to overcome before designing a space/time ship with a gigantic visible kettle for an engine.

first, one must distill grammar from its abstract form to something tangible. arguably too, it must be something you could fit in a kettle and bring to a rolling boil. the first thought that comes to mind is likely paper pages covered in grammatical rules. for me though, stuffing grammatical rules into a kettle to boil seems like a fun and interesting experiment.

to stop time, however, the process must serve no interests, no musings, no wonders. essentially, the audience must be bored to the point in which all time suspends--no movement forward of backward. by doing thus, the audience of the grammar-filled kettle will appear frozen in time. the grammar must not provide amusement and so another alternative to paper ought be sought. discuss.

having successfully trapped an audience in suspended time status, what are we to do with them then? can we push them into the past or the future? if the audience is pushed, will they not be disrupted and immediately return to the present? if so, is there a way to harness the energy used to go from suspended state to present state? therein, may hap, lay the secrets to time travel.

musical comedy duos*

Edit: Our lovely blog doesn't like some of the widescreen YouTube videos and cuts them off. Double click to open them in YouTube.

Why do the funniest musical comedy acts always come in twos?*

First (obviously): Flight of the Conchords

Second: Garfunkel and Oates 

Third:  Dr. Adam Kay and Dr. Suman Biswas (aka Amateur Transplants)

Fourth: Rhett and Link

* I actually just wanted to post some funny videos for all who have been feeling down as of late. 

look at my skin laugh....

Just wanted to share this

Cigars - Sexy, Silly or Street?

As I was driving from my husband's place of work (where he had a lovely Thai lunch) to the grocery store on my way home, I saw a road worker with a cigar.

He looked a bit like these guys, except about 10 years older and Mexican. Oh, and he had a grey mustache. He was puffin his cigar WHILE SIMULTANIOUSLY hauling around gravel and grit to fill holes in the road.

He looked right at me as I was stuck in traffic caused, probably, by him in the first place. I couldn't help but smile at the guy. He looked really silly. I sort of wanted to tell him he looked really silly, but then I thought best not cause more traffic. He's probably just found out he's a new grandfather or something and someone gave him a cigar to celebrate and he just couldn't wait to start puffing away (I ♥ run-ons).

This odd cigar puffing construction guy made me think a little about cigars. I assume that most people think of cigars as an old man's habit. Cigars and bandy in smoking jackets after dinner?

Or perhaps you're one of those that associates cigars with gangsters. Scarface smoked cigars, B.I.G. smoked cigars. Bobby DiNero probably smokes cigars. And you wouldn't mess with any of those thugs. So many the construction worker guy was actually a gangster in disguise! Haha, I caught him out though, on account he couldn't give up his cigar.

This could be true, but I didn't immediately suspect him for a gangster. No,my instant association was actually with Toni Braxton. I know, weird right? I saw this round, late-middle-aged, mexican construction worker with a cigar in his mouth and that made me think of Toni Braxton!?

There is an uber-brief moment in the video below (seconds after the 3-minute mark) where she puts a cigar in a martini glass filled with the same color liquid used in tampon commercials. Yet somehow... it's kinda sexy. Or maybe it's just that white body suit she's wearing...

Humans are disgusting creatures

We really are. If you look at any other animal, they clean themselves at will. The cat will give itself a lovely tongue bath and will willingly give other fellow cats one as well. Dogs will wash their paws for hours on end.

But, we humans...think. We decide whether we want to take a shower at all and when it will happen. There are people who do not bathe for one reason or another: religious, personal, etc. I leave out the sick because they physically or mentally cannot wash themselves. It is not their fault but the physically and mentally capable can wash themselves and sometimes do not. That perplexes me.

Other animals have the instinct to clean..how come we always do not? Is it because we think? Interesting..I should read up on this.

Infomercial Heaven

This is the Think Tank Bank, after all. Infomercials for GREAT ideas are just what we need! I suggest - should we find the time - that we turn some of our inspired ideas into our own infomercials sometime in the near future. I mean, to help the world and all.

Could be free - or 48 easy payments of $0.00 per month!

What are you waiting for?

Below are two fantastic examples. First of all - the titty bear. Ahem, sorry - the Tiddy Bear. This brilliant design finally solves the seatbealt-digging-in problem for not only women - but also men and even children (it won't kill them!). It's ok for men to use it. It doesn't make them wusses, it doesn't even make them gay.

The next infomercial... well, this is just a "lesson learned" I suppose. We will test our products meticulously before filming an infomercial.

Maru San ga ichiban neko desu yo!

(trans: Mr Maru is the number one cat!)
(addendum: except for spock of course)



not very much need be said about Maru San. he has a face. it's a squished face, but it's an adorable face.

please, enjoy.

umbrellas

As I was getting inside the car today, my umbrella protecting me from the torrential downpour, I inevitably got wet as I tried to duck inside and close the umbrella. I figured, there surely must be an invention out there for this. After much googling, however, I failed to produce any such invention. Is there something I'm missing in my get-into-a-car-with-umbrella-while-raining-and-not-get-wet technique?

I give any one with more....well, invention...than myself the permission to steal my idea and then market it to Billy Mays on the Discovery show, Pitchmen.

Inertia

On my way home yesterday, I thought about inertia. I stood on the train, still. Yet, I wasn't really still. I was moving at some rate of speed unknown to me. 

Inertia.

I think we forget about inertia when we drive. We are really cruising along doing 80 and we will continue to do 80 if we hit and our car stops..we are still gonna go 80 into the windshield...ouch. 

It is fascinating. This first law of motion builds on so many things...it is used to create the catapult, build bombs, dance, etc. 

Mr. Newton your keen observations and tireless experiments on the world created the technology driven world today.  Simple things we take for granted are explained through your theories and laws. 

So thank you, Mr. Newton for giving me something to think about while on the train.  I didn't even feel I was moving. Sometimes math and physics blow my mind in a good way. :)

Evil Nestle CEO

So just wanted to share a little bite of evil with you all. This clip is from the movie "We Feed the World." Just thought this part with the ceo talking was particularly mind blowing...

Interesting to hear the way people justify certain actions that impact the entire world. I know we are all implicit in a lot of things, but it is curious to watch someone - with so much power - who really could make a huge difference if he wanted to. He believes, I guess, that because his corporation feeds some and employs some that he is forgiven for those he starves. But anyway, here he is talking about the "extreme" opinion that water is a basic human right.

So I googled "nestle is evil" and found a site dedicated to Nestle's equally admirable approach to feeding babies. Notice the Nestle ads at the bottom of the screen... thanks google...

http://nestle_is_evil.tripod.com/nestleisevil/id2.html

addictive website # 56

days like these--days where procrastination is a disorder, not a decision--are days when new website discoveries are equivocal to an alcoholic discovering a new bar in town. it gets worse: the bar tender is hot and tells great jokes.

i just can't stop. the heavens are shouting down at me: DON'T STOP!

today's addictive website: textsfromlastnight.com.

this morning i was sitting checking my facebook (addictive website # 3), when a former employee of the writing center pops in before her exam. we start chit chatting and she drops the phrase "Fmylife". she shook her head and said "i love that website". i tell her i'm not a big fan because it makes me angry at people. then she recommended this text messages site.

people send in their text messages from the previous night (duh), and most of them are about sex with strange things, being high and wanting taco bell, walking in on people doing things with other people who shouldn't be doing things together never mind what it is they're all doing, or the odd circumstances under which the messenger woke after a night of drunken debauchery.

i'm only on page 4 of the site but i love it and could probably spend the better part of the next two days here.

this is bad. or brilliant.