We will never hear when we are older...

Today, as I sat on the train going in to Boston for an interview, I heard the familiar...ra ra ra ooh lalala!! lyrics of Lady GAGA, at a pretty high decibel. Now, trains are loud and its difficult to hold a conversation, so I get the point of putting on tunes. BUT!! Really?? That loud! I could hear every word, every beat perfectly.

I am guilty of this but I've noticed lately that people are going overboard with headphones. I mean do you want to be like this guy:


I mean, in effect, we already are like him. We are putting speakers to our ears and then letting the world hear what we are listening too. I already struggle to hear low sounds, I can only imagine when I am like 30.

So, what do I think we should do? I have no real good thoughtful solution. I like loud music. I like going to shows and hearing the base and drums vibrant in my chest. I love yelling for an hour after because you can't hear yourself. It makes you feel like you did something, you went somewhere.

I do think though that when you are jamming out on your IPhone or your IPod, you really need to think of the people around you and this really is just to save face. Do you really want people to know that you are a big strong burly duder who LOVES the GAGA? Turn it down...just turn it down....

Toothpaste Culture

Every once in a while I'm inspired by a strange thread of thoughts. Today, on merry Christmas Eve, I've been sat here in my living room watching Graham Norton on BBC America. You're wondering how this has anything to do with toothpaste. I told you it was strange.

There's a commercial for toothpaste. Don't ask what brand, you don't really care. What does matter is that, in the commercial, the woman supposedly putting the paste on the brush has a magical power. (I say supposedly because it's quite obvious that the toothpaste is COMPUTER GRAPHICALLY applied to the toothbrush.) She has the magical power of perfectly applying toothpaste to a brush so that it looks, well, perfect. You know, like this:

but without all the the flying tat in the background... so more like this:



but not made out of cement; unless you need cement to hold your dentures on.

The point of both these pictures is to demonstrate the iconic toothpaste curl. Notice the little under tuck towards the handle of the brush, and the sexy little tuft at the head.

Now, let me ask you... Has your toothpaste EVER come out this perfect on your brush? If you have the magical power that the lady in the Crest Pro-Health (it was just on again...) commercial, then I'm sorry you've been given such a useless magical power and perhaps encourage you to go into cake decorating or something more interesting than toothpaste model.




Although, being a Toothpaste Model does not mean you have to be able to apply perfect toothpaste. Like I mentioned previously, the paste in the tv commercial was computer graphically applied.

Frankly, toothpaste doesn't even need a sexy woman to sell it. Toothpaste can be sexy all by itself:


All jokes though, even advertisers somehow manage to make toothpaste sexy:



It's dark, mysterious, sensual, seductive. It's TOOTHPASTE.

Mouthwash, on the other hand, is aided tremendously by this lovely woman:



Mouthwash just doesn't have as much going for it as Toothpaste.

Toothpaste, ladies, has a following.



And to end on a culturally relevant note, toothpaste is also Green.



I bet you never thought so much about toothpaste. And I bet you'll think about sex next time you brush your teeth.

Cheers!

no thank you, rocket man

I was browsing through LIFE's 21 Greatest Space photos, when I came across this photo of Bruce McCandless floating out in the middle of space thanks to a jet pack. This photo terrifies me more than creationists and creamed corn. What if your jet pack went on the fritz? Could the other astronauts watusi the spacecraft over to you before you floated away?

Also, have you SEEN "Powers of Ten"? 

Things I would Ban

1. The superfluous use of "sort of" and "kind of" - especially when combined with an academic tone of voice, and extra especially when pushing trendy square glasses up your nose.

2. the two party system.
see the silly image with the donkeys and elephants mounting each other...

3. "I could care less."

The "caring continuum" is handy:

4. Brownies, cookies, or any other baked goods containing NUTS.

p.s.... what is that font at the bottom of the nut brownie picture?

5. Dan Brown. Is it unfair to pick on pop fiction?

6. wedge heels. because... I don't like them. While I am at it - overly pointy shoes of any kind. I am the dictator of this post!

7. Oh! let's not forget FLOOZIES! maybe Victorian Floozies are alright...

Anything else, while I'm dictator?

Thinking inside the box..

I have to say I have not don't much bank thinking as of late. I have been thinking more close to home. From time to time, my mind has drifted into more expounding thoughts and ideas.

Anyway, I have witnessed a lot of what I shall call: unworldly thinking. What I mean here is, thinking that does not belong in the bank. I think it belongs nowhere but, alas, I have been witness to it. I have been hearing thoughts that boggle my little brain.

I am used to Bank thinking to be honest. I am used to worldly, interesting thought. I am saddened by this group think mentality. It is affecting my life. I need some stimulation.

So, I invite/solicit/whorishly ask for things to think about other than the litany of stuff that usually goes through my head. You know:

puppies

kittens

vesty

passive voice

html code

pretty clothes

poetry

jane austen

dino porn

We need some action and I mean down and dirty, mudslinging epiphanies.

Let's do this because I don't know if I can go another week hearing close minded BS. Ladies...mount up. Show them what we are working with.

walk of fame

Get out your pencils, it's a think tank bank quiz. Which of these pairings has a star on the Hollywood walk of fame? 

Category 1: Movie beasts

 or 

Category 2: James Bond

 or  

Category 3:  DIY television hosts

 or 

Category 4: Nickelodeon TV cartoons

 or 

Category 5: TV judges

 or 

(answers in the comment section)

I wish I was in this meeting

So, KFC has decided to replace bread with chicken. I would link you to proof of that, but they have provided no evidence on the KFC website.

In case you haven't seen it, the sandwich is called "Double Down" and consists of bacon, cheese, and special sauce held together by two pieces of fried chicken ("bread"). Crazy! After the brief "healthy KFC" advertising (buckets of grilled chicken are healthy), they flipped it on us and went straight to heart attack.

I have been seeing this commercial on TV for at least the last couple of weeks, and I am blown away every time. I also love the "unthink" slogan they have going. They also use it in the Double Down commercials, which makes a lot of sense. Kudos to KFC. Unfortunately I could not find the actual commercial, so this will have to do:

And then there is this guy:

Note: He included his phone number in the video info, in case you need to reach him.