an announcement

After conferring tonight, Beth and I would like to pass onto you our new motto:

"No floozies!"

That's all.

the secret to time travel

everyone knows that it takes longer for a kettle to boil if you watch it. and everyone who has ever studied grammar knows that, no matter how witty Lynne Truss is, when reading about punctuation marks and compound complex sentences and past participles, time dramatically slows.



so, what if you were to boil a kettle full of grammar? perhaps time would stop!

there are a few hurdles to overcome before designing a space/time ship with a gigantic visible kettle for an engine.

first, one must distill grammar from its abstract form to something tangible. arguably too, it must be something you could fit in a kettle and bring to a rolling boil. the first thought that comes to mind is likely paper pages covered in grammatical rules. for me though, stuffing grammatical rules into a kettle to boil seems like a fun and interesting experiment.

to stop time, however, the process must serve no interests, no musings, no wonders. essentially, the audience must be bored to the point in which all time suspends--no movement forward of backward. by doing thus, the audience of the grammar-filled kettle will appear frozen in time. the grammar must not provide amusement and so another alternative to paper ought be sought. discuss.

having successfully trapped an audience in suspended time status, what are we to do with them then? can we push them into the past or the future? if the audience is pushed, will they not be disrupted and immediately return to the present? if so, is there a way to harness the energy used to go from suspended state to present state? therein, may hap, lay the secrets to time travel.

musical comedy duos*

Edit: Our lovely blog doesn't like some of the widescreen YouTube videos and cuts them off. Double click to open them in YouTube.

Why do the funniest musical comedy acts always come in twos?*

First (obviously): Flight of the Conchords

Second: Garfunkel and Oates 

Third:  Dr. Adam Kay and Dr. Suman Biswas (aka Amateur Transplants)

Fourth: Rhett and Link

* I actually just wanted to post some funny videos for all who have been feeling down as of late. 

look at my skin laugh....

Just wanted to share this

Cigars - Sexy, Silly or Street?

As I was driving from my husband's place of work (where he had a lovely Thai lunch) to the grocery store on my way home, I saw a road worker with a cigar.

He looked a bit like these guys, except about 10 years older and Mexican. Oh, and he had a grey mustache. He was puffin his cigar WHILE SIMULTANIOUSLY hauling around gravel and grit to fill holes in the road.

He looked right at me as I was stuck in traffic caused, probably, by him in the first place. I couldn't help but smile at the guy. He looked really silly. I sort of wanted to tell him he looked really silly, but then I thought best not cause more traffic. He's probably just found out he's a new grandfather or something and someone gave him a cigar to celebrate and he just couldn't wait to start puffing away (I ♥ run-ons).

This odd cigar puffing construction guy made me think a little about cigars. I assume that most people think of cigars as an old man's habit. Cigars and bandy in smoking jackets after dinner?

Or perhaps you're one of those that associates cigars with gangsters. Scarface smoked cigars, B.I.G. smoked cigars. Bobby DiNero probably smokes cigars. And you wouldn't mess with any of those thugs. So many the construction worker guy was actually a gangster in disguise! Haha, I caught him out though, on account he couldn't give up his cigar.

This could be true, but I didn't immediately suspect him for a gangster. No,my instant association was actually with Toni Braxton. I know, weird right? I saw this round, late-middle-aged, mexican construction worker with a cigar in his mouth and that made me think of Toni Braxton!?

There is an uber-brief moment in the video below (seconds after the 3-minute mark) where she puts a cigar in a martini glass filled with the same color liquid used in tampon commercials. Yet somehow... it's kinda sexy. Or maybe it's just that white body suit she's wearing...

Humans are disgusting creatures

We really are. If you look at any other animal, they clean themselves at will. The cat will give itself a lovely tongue bath and will willingly give other fellow cats one as well. Dogs will wash their paws for hours on end.

But, we humans...think. We decide whether we want to take a shower at all and when it will happen. There are people who do not bathe for one reason or another: religious, personal, etc. I leave out the sick because they physically or mentally cannot wash themselves. It is not their fault but the physically and mentally capable can wash themselves and sometimes do not. That perplexes me.

Other animals have the instinct to clean..how come we always do not? Is it because we think? Interesting..I should read up on this.

Infomercial Heaven

This is the Think Tank Bank, after all. Infomercials for GREAT ideas are just what we need! I suggest - should we find the time - that we turn some of our inspired ideas into our own infomercials sometime in the near future. I mean, to help the world and all.

Could be free - or 48 easy payments of $0.00 per month!

What are you waiting for?

Below are two fantastic examples. First of all - the titty bear. Ahem, sorry - the Tiddy Bear. This brilliant design finally solves the seatbealt-digging-in problem for not only women - but also men and even children (it won't kill them!). It's ok for men to use it. It doesn't make them wusses, it doesn't even make them gay.

The next infomercial... well, this is just a "lesson learned" I suppose. We will test our products meticulously before filming an infomercial.